You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you’re suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.

So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.
We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We’ll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson’s assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.

I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

Informacja dotycząca wprowadzenia produktu do obrotu:
Ten produkt został wprowadzony na rynek przed 13 grudnia 2024 r. zgodnie z obowiązującymi wówczas przepisami (Dyrektywą o ogólnym bezpieczeństwie produktów). W związku z tym może on być nadal sprzedawany bez konieczności dostosowania do nowych wymogów wynikających z Rozporządzenia o Ogólnym Bezpieczeństwie Produktów (GPSR). Produkt zachowuje pełną legalność w obrocie, a jego jakość i bezpieczeństwo pozostają zgodne z obowiązującymi wcześniej standardami.

Information regarding product placement on the market:
This product was placed on the market before December 13, 2024, in accordance with the applicable regulations at the time (the General Product Safety Directive). As a result, it can continue to be sold without needing to meet the new requirements introduced by the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR). The product remains fully compliant with all previously valid legal standards, ensuring its continued quality and safety.